I loved watching horror movies growing up. It could be that I’ve lived in a haunted house (another story for another time) and the unknown just fascinates me. Every Halloween I’d treat myself to a new horror movie to add to my collection. However, as I’ve gotten older and have had kids, I just can’t handle them like I used too. Now if I do watch them, it has to be at 10 a.m. on a Saturday. Which is a feet in itself to watch anything other than PJ Masks anymore. There is something about getting up in the middle of the night and walking around in the dark, feeling your way around towards someone who is screaming, that can be a bit unsettling. Or when you’re greeted by a tiny shadow bobbing down the dark hallway and it takes everything in you not to kick and scream “away tiny demon!”. Forget the images of a monster under your bed kids. If you want to see something equally if not more frightening, just turn the lights on as your mother is finding her way to you in the dark. Her hair going every which way like Medusa, wild crazy eyes (because you’ve woken her up, yet again), breath that would turn on Shrek, possibly a drool stain from the corner of her mouth, pillow case creases on her forehead and her robe dragging behind her because she was to damn tired to put both arms in. I’d take my chance with the monster under the bed. So I’ve had one of those weeks where I haven’t had a full nights sleep since… okay let me think… maybe it was the summer of 2014, come to think of it. Anyway rough week, but we must carry on! The food scene was becoming dire in our house so I had to make a quick trip to Walmart. My husband and I divided the kids and conquered the store as quickly as possible w/o any break downs. When we got to the check out line I stayed and he took the kids out to the car. I had a young boy, probably high school age checking me out. I said hello and started emptying my cart. He responded with hello and then began telling me how much he weighed. “I weighed 203 and now I weigh 198. I lost 5 pounds in one day.” he began. I was like oh so are we sharing random facts today. Suppressing my sarcastic comments I congratulated him on his success. He went on to tell me he decided that he is going to lose a pound a day for the next month, as mater of fact as telling me my shoe was untied. Again trying to be nice I said I hope you do. Then he dives in telling me about portion control and drinking water. I couldn’t respond anymore. Just scan my damn Eggo waffles and be done with this! I could tell he could sense my please shut the hell up vibes, which was nice that he could pick up on some social ques. So then he tells me how tired he is….. and that it was just awful that he had to wake up at 6:45 a.m.. If I could sleep that late, I would throw a party. Well a party if everyone would leave by 9 and clean up after themselves. I couldn’t help myself, “Are you really complaining to me about being tired?”. He just looked at me. “Did you see all the kids I just had in here? I haven’t slept in years. And you know what kids do to your body? They stretch it out and fat goes into new places you didn’t even know existed.” The poor kids eyes were wide and he just awkwardly stared at me. Then a thought occurred to me. Maybe moms aren’t just scary to encounter when they are sleep deprived in dark hallways. They are scary out in the wild as well. As I loaded up my cart and walked away. I was pleased to know I hadn’t scarred the poor kid for life. As the next customer said hello, he told her how much he weighed…